This morning, I did something I haven’t done in a really long time: I got out of bed (notice I didn’t say that I dragged myself out of bed!) at 5:30 to exercise. Yup…I was literally up before sunrise, willingly, to work out.
It’s easy to forget how beautiful a sunrise is when you sleep through it every morning.
Image via NASA
That being said, I didn’t wake up to the beginnings of sunshine this morning; it’s been raining on and off here in New Jersey since sometime overnight. So, after I got dressed, grabbed my new iPhone and my headphones and started tiptoeing toward the basement steps (a girl has to be careful to avoid waking her snoring husband and toddler!), I was greeted with a gray sky and steady rainfall. No matter — I wasn’t planning on going outside anyway. The sound of the rain, however, gave me a naughty idea: Maybe I won’t exercise today. Maybe I’ll just grab my book and a cup of tea, open the window, and read and listen to the rain.
I could have easily done that. It’s an appealing prospect, after all. But that would make me a bad girl.
Today, I was a good girl. I put my headphones on and headed into the basement to exercise. I was so happy with my decision and proud of myself for sticking to it that I decided to stray from my typical workout and spend an hour doing Zumba. I was in the mood to dance this morning, and Lauren Fitzgerald was there to help me. Thank God for YouTube! After completing a long series of Zumba videos, I could feel my hair sticking to the back of my neck, and my entire body starting feeling sticky and sweaty. I could have stopped there, but I didn’t. Instead, I walked over to our stationary bike, sat on it, put some music on, and pedaled for a half hour. Thirty minutes later, I couldn’t feel my butt (those bike seats are seriously uncomfortable and I have a very bony butt. Ha!), and my legs felt like Jell-O.
But I felt great!
I walked back upstairs, tiptoed past my still-sleeping family, grabbed a change of clothes and took a shower. While I was washing my hair, I remembered a very important doctor’s appointment I have tomorrow morning. I don’t think I ever wrote about it here, but just before we went on vacation last month I had a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) done. An HSG, if you haven’t heard of it, is a test where a doctor injects a dye into your uterus to look for blockages in your fallopian tubes and to check for any problems with your uterus. Dr. K thought that I might have a blockage because I don’t get periods without medication, so she naturally wanted me to get it checked out. The doctor who performed the test showed me the pictures when it was over; my fallopian tubes were completely clear (and much thinner than I’d imagined they’d be — they’re literally as thin as pieces of uncooked thin spaghetti), which I was happy about. Then came the bad news: the dye also lit up what appeared to be a shadow on my uterus, which the doctor initially believed was a uterine fibroid, but he said he would check with his attending physician and send a final report to Dr. K. The next time I saw her, she said that the current belief was that the shadow wasn’t a fibroid at all but instead was a polyp, and that yet another test, this time a saline infusion sonohystogram (SIS), would need to be performed to confirm. If the SIS confirms that there’s a polyp on my uterus, I’ve already been scheduled for surgery on June 10 to have it removed.
I wasn’t kidding when I said I felt like a human pincushion. To say I’m scared about the prospect of surgery would be an understatement. I don’t even know yet if we’re actually dealing with a polyp or a fibroid, but I’m aware that polyps, while usually benign, can become malignant over time. I’m happy that this was caught and that we have both a procedure and a timetable in place to do something about it, but I’m still worried. This is not my first time at the rodeo — I’ve had surgery before (hello, C-section!) — but I’ve never been placed under general anesthesia. Being knocked out for a procedure and being unaware of any complications as they develop is terrifying to me. I may not be a type-A control freak but I do like knowing what’s going on. I had a nightmare the other night that I went under and, when I woke up, I was told that the polyp was malignant and they had to perform a hysterectomy. I would really like to have more children, so I’m sure you understand that I wasn’t in the greatest of moods when I woke up that morning. At this point, all I can do is keep telling myself to breathe and take things one step at a time. What happens, happens. I have no control over this. F*ck you, PCOS.
But on the bright side, at least I know that I am capable of waking up early to exercise — and that sunrise exercise makes me really happy!